Today I Wondered…

Why are fat blokes always so red in the cheeks, and if cats had thumbs, would the sales of mobile phones go through the roof? I bet they would, those sneaky, wannabe-texting feline bastards.

Someone on my bus (not mine, but the bus on which I travelled, pedants) tonight had the heady aroma of fortified wine and damp golden retrievers.

Did the Bilderberg Group kill off James Herbert and Margaret Thatcher? (nah, that’s silly, it would never happen)

Also, I don’t care how much money she has, how long she has been on the charts or how famous she is, I still wouldn’t go down on Adele for less than a monkey.


I’m no looker and she may not care, but that doesn’t make it any less true.


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