United 1-2 City

 

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You have to laugh really. At work today, as if to highlight the fact that these two behemoths of association football were going head to head, much money was wasted on both red and blue balloons. They were filled with helium and left to float in their hundreds around the office.

As a part-time (and admittedly fair-weather) Leeds fan working on a daily basis with a group of Man Utd magpies that really love shiny things, I was somewhat bemused by this nonsense, imagining that this mattered quite so much as to warrant a budget that could have been spent on Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Costa coffees.

My boss actually asked me which colour balloon I would prefer to tie around my monitor in order to display my allegiance. I told him quite honestly (and succinctly I felt), that I really couldn’t give a shit either way. He looked at me sadly, as if pitying the poor Leeds fan. I took comfort in the fact that he is an ugly, short-sighted, overweight gay man in a room of testosterone fuelled football nutcases, offering balloons to people that mostly hate him. Not because he’s gay, you understand. Or fat. Just because he’s a bit of a twat, really.

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